Twisting Fate
by Tani Glace
Summary: hiatus
1. Chapter 1

**Twisting Fate**

This is the sequel to my story _No Escaping Fate_. If you have not read that then this will make no sense whatsoever.

**Chapter One**

"Alright give me three more… two… and one more… good job!"

Shuichi dropped the weight onto the rack. He had to fight the urge to glare death up at his physical therapist. For one thing she was far too perky and for another… well did he really need another reason? She acted like lifting that dame three-pound weight a few more times would save the world.

Six weeks now. He had been awake for six weeks and he still felt as weak as a damn kitten. His body was recovering though. With the therapy and time he was told that he would be able to make a full recovery. It was just taking so long and he wanted out of that little white room that the doctors were still insisting that he needed to be in. They had been telling him again and again that he could not expect to recover from six years of coma and a stroke after so short a time. He was bound and determined to prove them wrong. He was ready to go home. He was ready to go back to work. More than anything he was ready to SING again.

"Are we done?" he asked after Yiko, Yukiko, whatever her name was remained distracted by her clipboard for several minutes.

Chocolate brown eyes looked up at him and then glanced at the wall clock. "Yes I suppose so, but I will see you this afternoon." She had one of those smiles that could blind people if you looked at them too long. "Do you want me to call you an orderly?"

Shuichi rolled his eyes. "No I'm fine thank you." It was with a grateful sigh that he rolled himself out of the room. He could walk, but not far so he was still bound the wheelchair.

'I really want out of here.' He thought as the elevator doors closed behind him.

By the time he had made it back to his room there was a slick film of sweat on his forehead. Maybe he had pushed himself a little much after just working his arms for an hour.

His eyes slid across the bare walls of the empty room. It was odd or there not to be someone there that time of day, but it wasn't like they didn't have lives too.

-

"Come one just four more… three… two… and one more… good job."

'Okay it is official… I'm going to kill her.'

"Very well done Shindou-san, keep up like this and I will sign off on your release in a week or so."

'Or maybe not...'

"Thank you. You have no idea how ready I am to get out of here." He slowly lowered himself into his chair and sighed. He had managed to walk the equivalent of almost half a mile in the last two hours. He was proud of himself, but dead tired.

"Oh I think I might have a pretty good idea of it. It has been almost… what eight weeks?"

Shuichi nodded grimly. It had been eight weeks, but there was hope now at least. "Isn't there anyway you could push that up faster? Please I am going to go crazy in that room." He gave her his famous puppy dog eyes and he could tell her resolve was melting.

After a moment she sighed. "Alright, if you can walk all the way back to your room and down here again in the morning I will agree to it."

The puppy eyes faded into confusion. "You'll agree to what?"

"I'll agree to you going home tomorrow silly."

Shuichi smiled a real smile for the first time in what seemed like forever. "For that I would walk to the moon."

She couldn't help but giggle.

-

'Okay so I am nervous.' Shu had kept his promise and with a great deal of difficulty managed to walk to his room and back down to physical therapy the next morning. In turn the therapist had in turn kept her word, which was how he found himself in the back of a NG limo on the way to his and Eiri's apartment.

That last was the part that had him nervous. In the last few weeks he had managed to almost completely avoid any topics having to do with his 'dream' or the accident. He had let them all believe that it was just an accident and that he had no recollection of the time he had been asleep. He didn't know how long that would last though.

He didn't hate Eiri, but he had spent the last six years of 'dream time' trying very hard to forget him. Without spilling his guts there was no way for him to avoid returning home either. 'So let make that nervous and confused.'

The car slowed down and turned into a familiar parking structure. As it did Shuichi felt his heart speed up. 'What is my deal? It is not like I haven't seen him every day for the last eight weeks. Okay so maybe I pretended to be asleep half the time he was there, but hey… it's not like I kicked him out or anything. I'm not ready to face all of that again is all."

His thoughts were stopped by the car door opening. He looked up and felt his chest tighten just a little. There he was standing there with a wheelchair ready.

"Eiri…" The word came out as little more than a whisper, but the golden haired author smiled down at him.

"Welcome home, Shu-han."

-

The apartment was quiet… far too quiet. It was getting on his nerves. Shuichi was home now, so why wasn't the baka making noise? Eiri rubbed his temples. He was missing something. It was something that he knew in his heart was very important, but at the same time… he just couldn't figure it out.

A week had gone by since his little lover had come home. In that time the two of them had been acting more like friendly roommates than lovers. Eiri was worried about pushing Shu too fast in his recovery. He didn't know what Shu was thinking.

The first night Shuichi had been home Eiri had prepared them a nice quiet dinner and they had snuggled together on the couch afterward until time for bed. Shu had seemed a little tense, but had assured Eiri that it was only because he was tired and excited about being home.

In the days that followed Shuichi had become more and more quiet. He had started to resisted Eiri's touch unless it was absolutely needed.

It was really starting to get to the blond. He wanted _his_ Shuichi back, not this… zombie. 'Maybe he just needs to get back to work?'

The author scratched his head again. He would figure it out one way or another. He had to.

-

"Are you sure that you are ready for this?"

Shuichi glared at Hiro and Suguru. They had both been fussing over him all morning. He refused to let him coddle him though. He wanted to be working again. He had made his fans wait long enough. Besides it got him out of the apartment and away from Eiri.

He had been out of the hospital for two weeks and he was still doing his best to avoid his lover. He wanted to fix the problem, yet he still didn't know _how_ to fix it.

"I'm fine. If I get tired I will stop."

Hiro shared a glance with his lover, 'Eh, who knew I was right about that too?' and they both nodded.

Shuichi let the beat of the song fill him. It was just the way he remembered it from his dream… well really close anyway. Hell it was probably a lot better than it was in his dream.

_"I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.  
I left my body laying somewhere in the sands of time.  
I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon.  
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah…"_

-

"I really don't know what to do." Eiri looked up at his brother-in-law over his cup of tea. The man had been his confessor for the last fourteen years. He had helped Eiri out of more than one bad situation.

Tohma looked back at Eiri as he thought. He had also seen the changes in Shuichi, but for him they did not seem so sudden. What ever had been going on before the accident was still troubling the singer.

"Have you talked to him about it?"

Eiri looked back down at his cup, "I don't know how. It was one thing to talk to him when he couldn't talk back, but now…"

Tohma smiled sadly. "You need to talk to him. You may not be as acutely aware of it as the rest of us, but this is part of what you missed."

Eiri raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Before the accident… he seems the same as he was then."

The author bit his lip in a very out of character show of emotion. "I…" he trailed off. Really what could he say to that?

"Take it slowly Eiri. Shuichi has been through a great deal. Not only is he still facing whatever it was from then, but he has also lost six years of his life. He is trying very hard to regain his strength and pick up the pieces of his band." Tohma rubbed his thumb across his lips in thought. "Don't push him. You know him better than any of us. You may very well know him better than his family even. You will know when to back off, but as the same time you know when to press."

Eiri thought about it. It made sense in a weird Tohma-like way. He drank the last swig of his tea after looking at his watch. "I'll think about it." He got up and started to the door. "I have to get Shu to his doctor's appointment. Ja na." He waved over his shoulder as he exited.

'Well, now I just have to figure out how to translate Tohma-speak into real life.'

-

I know this chapter seems a little disjointed, but I was going for that. Besides the fact that everyone is still a little mussed up over everything that has happened I wanted to rapidly progress the recovery time as much as possible without taking it totally for granted.

Too much? Not enough? There's more to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**Twisting Fate**

I still do not own Gravitation. This chapter was hard to write. I just didn't seem to want to come out. So sorry for the delay and the sucky chapter.

**Chapter Two**

Shuichi looked up from the couch where he was busily scribbling lyrics. It was the third time that Eiri had walked through the living room. 'Why is this situation so familiar?' He chewed on the end of his pencil for a moment at Eiri walked back out of the kitchen headed towards his study. 'Oh, because I used to do this to him all the time, only he would be watching television or reading.'

Shuichi scrubbed his hand through his white hair in frustration. (He hadn't bothered to dye it as too many people thought it looked cool.) Their cohabitation was less than satisfactory, but he really didn't know what to do. Eiri hadn't pushed him for sex and was being almost too patient with Shuichi's recovery. They were just going through the motions. He shook his head and looked back at his lyrics.

Several minutes passed and Shuichi looked up again when Eiri crossed through the living room. Shu couldn't help but roll his eyes this time. 'Was I this obvious?' He snapped his journal closed and stood up headed for the door. "I'm going out."

Eiri's head popped out of the kitchen. "Need some company?"

Shu resisted rolling his eyes again. "No, I just want to go down to the studio for awhile. I am sure that Suguru is there and I want to play with some lyrics. I'll be back later."

He slipped his feet into his shoes and walked out without looking back to see the worried expression on Eiri's face. He caught a cab at the corner and let his head fall back against the headrest. 'Six months of this shit. His hovering is really starting to get on my nerves. Everyone seems almost… normal, but Eiri keeps walking on eggshells.'

He got out at NG, but he didn't head for the studio. Right then he could care less about where Suguru was. No, who he wanted to talk to was Tohma. He ran various scenarios over in his head. He didn't know what the blond would say, but doubted to would be anything good. It was late enough in the evening that Tohma's secretary had gone home so he simply knocked on the door.

He could hear low voices on the other side and then a louder call of, "Enter."

Shuichi stepped in and quickly noticed the seated man across from Tohma. He looked familiar. "Sorry if I am interrupting, I can come back latter."

Tohma waved him toward a seat. "No it is fine Shuichi-kun. Let me introduce you to Mr. Rick Davis. Rick-san here is an American artist whose band is entertaining a contract with NG. Mr. Davis this is Shindou Shuichi, he is the lead singer for our number two band Bad Luck."

Shuichi had frozen half way through his bow when he heard the man's name. 'No, it's not possible. It's a coincidence.'

Tohma took note of Shuichi's distraction when he didn't respond to Rick's question. He stood up and walked around his desk to stand next to Shuichi and still the younger man did not notice him. The singer did notice though when Tohma placed a hand on his shoulder and quickly jerked away. "I'm sorry."

"Are you alright? Should I call Eiri-kun?" Shuichi shook his head and smiled weakly at Tohma.

"Truly, I'm fine. I was just startled is all. I do believe that I have heard of Mr. Davies before." Tohma looked at him appraisingly for a moment before he took up one of the open seats in front of his desk rather than returning behind it.

"Really, I didn't realize that Seven Deadly Sins had a following in Japan. Something I wish to rectify, of course."

'This is too surreal.' Shuichi nodded and finally took a seat. "I'm sure that with the proper exposure that they will be a hit. There has been an ever increasing following of American rock in Japan over the last few years."

Tohma folded his hands in his lap thoughtfully and glanced at the too silent Rick. The man was eyeing Shuichi in a way that Eiri would have taken great offence to. He knew that the man's understanding of Japanese was marginal, but he knew enough to have joined into at least some of this conversation. 'How dose Shuichi recognize him anyway? SDS has had almost no Japanese exposure and they didn't exist prior to the accident.' He tilted his head and looked back at Shuichi. The singer was playing with his journal.

"Hai, American rock is influencing some of the up and comings here. Should NG take over Seven Deadly Sins I feel that we would have gained a substantial asset." Shuichi looked up at the blond and bit his lip.

Tohma noticed that Shuichi looked upset. He wasn't quite sure what about, however he was sure that he was about to find out. "Is that all that music is to you now? Is it all assets and liabilities? You used to love it for the music's sake."

Dé já vu. Tohma could remember having this conversation with the little singer once before. It had been shortly before the accident. His head jerked around when a heavily accented voice spoke.

"I agree. Music is not a…" he seemed to stumbled for the right word waving his hand in a searching gesture. Finally he growled and grumbled something in English.

Tohma smiled his benign smile and looked at his two companions. "Do not get me wrong. As a musician I do love the music for it's own sake, but I am also a businessman."

Shuichi rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. Conversation that was already strained so Shuichi stood up. "I'll take my leave of you. I need to see if Suguru is in the studio. I'll come back some other time to speak with you." He nodded to the two men and didn't see Tohma follow him out. He was almost to the elevator when the older man called out to him.

He turned and waited to hear whatever the blond had to say. When Tohma stopped front of Shuichi he looked concerned. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Shuichi stepped back and leaned against the wall, "No." He rolled his head and heard his neck give a loud pop. "I wanted to know if you could find me another place to stay."

Since the accident many people had grown closer to Shuichi. His new quieter attitude drew people to him even more than it had before while his annoyance level had been reduced to almost nil. Tohma was not ashamed to say that he was drawn to the young man where before he had cared for him as nothing more than a good business deal. This particular request had not been expected. Eiri had stopped coming to him to vent on Shuichi's aloofness and so he had thought that relations between the two had improved.

"Did you and Eiri have a fight?"

Shuichi shook his head before scratching it in frustration. "No, but I can't stand his… hovering. To be honest I didn't want to move back in with him at all and the last few months have been… torture."

Tohma reached out to him tentatively and Shuichi accepted the gesture. "I am afraid that I don't understand. What happened?"

Shuichi stepped away and sighed. "It is to long a story to get into right now. I will come back later."

Tohma nodded sadly, "I'll be here for awhile yet. Rick-san should be headed back to his hotel shortly. An hour?"

Shuichi hadn't expected for Tohma to take that kind of initiative but nodded his acceptance and continued down the hall.

--

Having found no sign of Suguru in the studio, Shuichi had simply unpacked his own keyboard. He didn't really pay attention to what he was playing and let various strains of disjointed music flow from his fingers. He let himself get lost in the notes and was a little startled when someone knocked on the door. He glanced up at the clock and realized he was late to meet back up with Tohma. He shut off the keyboard and hit the call button to tell the other man that it was open. When he was done packing his keyboard back onto the rack he looked around and sure enough there was Tohma leaning on the doorframe.

"Sorry, I got distracted."

The blond smiled wanly, "I noticed. Come one, we'll go get some dinner."

They made the trip to one of Tohma's favorite out of the way diners and in a very un-Tohma like move they drove themselves. Rather, Tohma drove. Here in the real world Shuichi had never learned to drive.

When they were seated in a corner booth and their meals ordered Tohma looked at him over his glass of water. "I don't much care for mysteries, Shuichi-kun."

Shuichi sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and scratched his face. He didn't have to shave often but the barest hint of stubble on his chin told him it was time. "I've done some reading and for what I can tell my situation seems… unique. Usually when someone is in a coma they cannot recall any dreams prior to waking up."

Shuichi played with the straw in his own glass while Tohma remained silent, waiting. "It has been six months and to me those six years seem just as vivid, just as real as they did when I first woke." He took a sip of his drink to wet his suddenly dry throat. He hadn't told anyone about the dream. He didn't know why he was telling Tohma now.

"To me it doesn't feel like a dream at all. I lived a very different life in those six years."

Tohma had rested his chin on his hands and his elbows on the counter while he listened. He was more intrigued than he could say. The food came unnoticed to them both as he listened to Shuichi tell his story.

Running off to America because he hurt so badly…

Changing himself to fit the American musical world…

Tohma's own mechanizations and the band that resulted…

The world tour…

Returning to Japan…

Eiri, Hiro, Ryuichi, Shuichi's family…

He didn't know what to think. It was a strange tale to be sure. Yet, there was something in Shuichi's voice that convinced him that every word of it was true. It made the incident in front of Rick make sense.

"When I woke up I thought that I had been hospitalized from the collapse. Then I heard Eiri's voice in my head. He told me that it had all been a dream. I was… confused to say the least." He pulled out a small burnished lighter and set it on the table between them. Upon it was inscribed the phrase '7 Deadly Sins.' When it was flipped over a moment later Tohma could see that each of said sins were listed.

"In my dream we were just called Seven Sins, yet this lighter is almost exactly the same as the one Rick bought for me in the dream. I found it quite by chance in a little second hand store." He paused and picked up the lighter to light a cigarette. He chuckled when Tohma raised an eyebrow.

"So many things have started to show up from my dream. At first I thought that maybe I was just mixing in things that I ran across in real life. Perhaps I had really met that person or seen that item and so it just mixed itself in." He took a long drag and savored the feeling of the smoke in his lungs. "I didn't smoke before. I hated it when Eiri smoke. Now I pick one up and it is old hat to me."

He picked at the now cold food in front of him, not really hungry at all. Tohma remained silent for a long time. He watched the singer, an intense look on his face.

"I don't know what to tell you Shuichi. I cannot say that stranger things have happened, because I for one cannot say that I have ever heard such a tale." The blond reached into his pocket and pulled out his ever-present cell phone. "I do understand your plight now though. I'll help you find a place to stay for awhile."

Shuichi looked up and smiled sadly. "I don't know what to think anymore, Tohma. You do understand that this isn't because I don't love him, don't you?"

"Hai, I understand that. However I also know that love is not always enough."

And Shuichi knew just what he meant. Tohma, the real Tohma, unlike the one in his dream, had loved Eiri with all of his heart. He still loved the writer. He understood that Eiri would never return his affections, but he loved him nonetheless.

"Arigatou, Tohma."

A gloved hand covered his and he looked up into sincere eyes. "You have nothing to thank me for. I am proud to count you among my friends. That is something I never thought possible." He dialed an unknown number and smiled sweetly at Shuichi while the phone rang. "I'm glad I was wrong."

--

The plot thickens. Someone asked me how much of the dream was a dream and how much really happened. Well, as you can tell from this chapter… I'm not telling. A girl has to keep some of her secrets. To be fare though, this is not going to be just another dream altogether. There is a reason why Shuichi had the dream and a reason why he remembers certain things that he should have no way of knowing. Yes, Eiri and Shuichi will eventually get things right and get together again. When, now that is another question. Originally I had planed to get them back together at the end of the last story, however my muse had other plans.

So, too much? Not enough? Well there is a lot more to come.


	3. Interlude

**Twisting Fate**

**Interlude  
****Reflections**

Shuichi was silent as Tohma spoke to whoever was on the other end of the call. He watched the lights of the Tokyo skyline from Tohma's office. The blond had offered to take Shuichi back to the apartment for the night, but the singer had refused.

For his part, Shuichi was nervous. His mind was flooded with thoughts and feelings dating back to when Eiri had run away. Everything he had felt when he realized Eiri wasn't coming back on his own pressed down on him.

Then there were the thoughts of his own escape. Dream or not, he could recall vividly everything he felt as he boarded that plane for LA. Now he was running away again. Perhaps he was not disappearing like the last time, but leaving Eiri of his own accord was not an easy thing to do.

After his confession at the restaurant Tohma had not asked him to explain further he reasoning behind wanting to leave. Shuichi was grateful, for he himself did not understand.

Maybe it was the stress catching up to him. Bad Luck was due to put out their new album soon and the world would know that he was alive and well again. (Exactly how Tohma had managed to keep it quiet in the first place was beyond him.) After the release they were supposed to go on a brief tour of six major cities in Japan.

As much as he would have liked to just blame it all on the stress he knew that a large part of it was Eiri. After waking and coming to terms with the 'dream' Shuichi had thought that with time he and Eiri could reconcile their differences. However Eiri was just so… different.

The intensity that had first drawn Shuichi to the author was no longer there. Difficult to live with though he may have been Shuichi would not have traded his Yuki for anything. This man was someone almost completely different. He still loved Eiri, however Tohma was right, 'love isn't always enough.'

'Dreams teach. Where did I hear that?' Shuichi scratched his stubbly chin in thought. 'More importantly, what did that dream teach me?'

To be honest he was scared. Too many things were starting to be real. Too many things were causing him to remember things from the dream. There were moments that he forgot it was a dream and would catching himself thinking about Seven Sins or Rick like they were still a part of his life.

His confession to Tohma made him feel all the more vulnerable.

'Am I going crazy?' The question seemed to eat at him more and more everyday. It was the reason that he had waited to say something to begin with. He knew he could trust Tohma though and that in itself was strange.

Since waking up, it seemed that he had grown closer to everyone. He could tolerate their quarks better and they his. Everyone but Eiri, who had changed just as much as he had it seemed.

To the rest of the world he was the same Yuki Eiri; cold, aloof author and international playboy. To those that knew him best he was quieter, more tolerant. To Shuichi he was a completely different person.

The man who ignored him until his libido deemed otherwise was gone. He was not crewel or distant. He was… not Yuki. Granted that Shuichi was not a masochist and had never enjoyed being ignored, but still the constant hovering, the complete attentiveness, the love at arms length. It was no better than the way he had been before. Was there no happy medium?

The author acted as if Shuichi would shatter if not handled with the utmost care. It made Shuichi want to scream. Oh, he still loved Yuki, but you cannot hold a dream in your arms.

He was suddenly startled from his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Shuichi shook his head 'no' and leaned into the blond. Tohma wrapped his arms around the petit singer. So much like Eiri, the man in his arms begged to be protected.

He was one of the most powerful men in Japan. He had made men disappear and shattered careers with a single phone call. Yet, there were times when Tohma could be accused be being almost maternal. He loved these two men, Eiri and Shuichi, an unrequited passion for one and something familial, brotherly perhaps, for the other. He would exercise his power to see them happy.

Now he just had to figure out how.

---

This is just a brief insight into how Shuichi and Tohma are feeling right now in the story. I hope this clarifies some of their actions so far and in the future and clears up some of the confusion. I didn't really want to put this in a full chapter it was a little too 'drabble' feeling to me. Fare warning, Tohma is going to be a lot more present in this story than in the last one. What can I say, I like him.

I do know own my lovelies, but if I could I would buy them. Eiri, Tohma, Ryuichi, Hiro, K, and Shuichi, just line them up for me and I'll take the lot.

So, too much? Not enough? Well there is a lot more to come.


	4. Chapter 3

**Twisting Fate**

Under no circumstances will this be a Tohma/Shuichi fic. They will not sleep together, screw around, or even kiss. I have nothing against this pairing, but not in this story. Eiri and Shuichi WILL get back together. They love each other, no matter how fucked up their relationship is right now. Thank you for your time, now on to chapter three.

**Chapter Three**

There were sixteen steps between his office and the kitchen, twelve between the office and the bathroom, fifteen to the front door, and seven to the bedroom. Why did he know this? He had spent the last three hours pacing those steps. Again with the why… Well something was missing, a very important something.

Shuichi wasn't answering his cell phone, he wasn't with Hiro or Suguru, and he wasn't at the studio. Even K didn't know where the singer was. Eiri was going nuts. He was almost ready to call the police. It was three o'clock in the bloody morning. Where the hell was the little brat?

Perhaps the only person Eiri hadn't called at that point was Tohma and that was because the man supposedly had some important wooing to do with a prospective band. He had called Mika though and she said that she didn't expect Tohma home anytime soon or perhaps at all that night. The man was a well-known workaholic after all.

Eiri was about ready to call him anyway, previous engagements be damned, when at last he heard a key turn in the door. Eiri rushed out of the kitchen ready to berate his lover, but it was not Shuichi.

"What the are you doing here Tohma?" Eiri tried not to let it show, however, his degree of worry had just skyrocketed.

Tohma's face was solemn. It had been a lot of work to find Shuichi a place to stay on such short notice. He hadn't wanted to put the singer in a hotel, as it was too great a security risk. In the end the little singer had been left in the… sometimes questionable… care of Ryuichi for the night. The new apartment would be ready in two days. "We need to talk."

Eiri felt his knees go weak and had to catch himself on the wall. "Oh, please no. Not again," he whispered.

It took Tohma less than a second to realize what Eiri was thinking and was quick to reassure him. "Shuichi is fine."

"But, what…"

Tohma cut him off, "Just sit down and we'll talk."

Eiri still seemed a bit disturbed and Tohma couldn't blame him. The last time he had shown up in the middle of the night like that was to tell Eiri that Shuichi was in the hospital in a coma after a horrible accident. In truth though, Tohma doubted that this conversation would be any easier.

XXX

Shuichi lay on the couch as Ryuichi danced around in the kitchen making ramen. Shuichi had to chuckle at the older singer's enthusiasm. Ryuichi acted as if having an unexpected houseguest was a treat.

_"Star light, star Bright  
I'm wishing with all my might  
Can you hear me, so far away?  
Is my voice is lost to the night?"_

'What is he singing?' Shuichi sat up and looked through the open archway into the kitchen. Ryuichi was standing in front of the stove using a spoon like a microphone.

_"Still I'm dreaming  
Of my starlight  
Shining in the night…_

_Twinkle, twinkle  
Little star  
I don't wonder anymore  
I know what you are_  
'_Cause I'm brighter than the brightest star…"_

'Oh he had to have written that one himself. It's so sweet… but kind of sad too.' Shuichi got up and slowly walked to the doorway and leaned against the frame. 'Here is a man famous throughout Japan and America. He's a Rock Star and can draw millions to him with his voice alone. Yet he still manages to be so innocent.'

"_I'm shining  
Twinkle, twinkle  
In the night  
Get ready, 'cause here I come..._

_Shine with your light  
Fill up the night  
Twinkle, twinkle  
Oh, shine starlight, shine…"_

'I've always wondered what happened in his past that made him this way. He's not stupid, but he is usually only serious on the stage. I've seen it though, when he thinks no one is looking. He takes on this air of understanding. I don't think it's just an act either though. I think something… something had to have happened to him.'

_"I don't have to wish_  
'_Cause fate can't hold me back  
I'm shining  
Like the starlight  
I'm brighter than the brightest star..._

_So keep on shining  
Guide me brightly_  
'_Cause I'm on my way  
To the stars."_

Ryuichi's voice faded and Shuichi stood up strait before clapping softly. The brunette turned around sharply and blushed brightly. "Ah, Shu-chan startled me, yes he did." Ryuichi shook the spoon at Shuichi in a scolding manner. "Kuma-chan always says that it is not good to startle someone who's cooking because they might burn themselves."

Shuichi smiled softly. "Kuma-chan gives good advice. How's that ramen coming?"

Ryuichi squeaked and turned back to the stove. He gave a sigh of relief when he found that nothing untoward had happened while his back was turned. "It's almost ready. I hope you're hungry, because we made a lot."

Shuichi chuckled and sat down at the kitchen table. "Hey, Sakuma…" he trailed off when Ryuichi cleared his throat in a rather obvious way. "Gomen, Ryuichi." The older nodded in approval. "Well, I was wondering what that song was."

Ryuichi froze for just a second before continuing to dish out the finished ramen. Shuichi watched him move about the task and wondered if the other singer would answer. When Ryuichi sat down across from him and began eating he decided to let the subject drop. It must have been a sore spot.

They ate for several moments before Ryuichi became his same bubbly self again. Soon enough Shuichi forgot about the song.

XXX

"Man, I can't believe that you moved out on him." Hiro started adjusting the tuning on his guitar again, but Suguru seemed frozen in his tracks.

"That is so…"

Shuichi could think of a lot of things that it was, but it didn't change the fact that it had happened. "Look guys, I know that this is a shock, but it's just something I needed to do. I haven't even talked to Yuki yet."

"And that is what bothers me," K put in from the side of the room. "You and Yuki-san have had numerous problems in the past and it does seem to affect your work more often then not."

Shuichi shook his head. "That was different. I did this on my own. I have no intention of breaking up with Yuki. I just need some time."

"Leave him alone guys. If he says it's okay then it's okay." Hiro didn't bother to look up when he said it, but Shuichi was lightened by his friend's confidence.

'Maybe if someone believes it will be alright…' He stopped the thought. He had to think that it would be all right, no matter how it actually turned out. "Let's get to work."

XXX

Eiri hit the keys on his keyboard furiously. How dare that little brat move out on him? How dare he send Tohma? Didn't he even have the guts to face Eiri on his own?

Eiri's fingers paused over the keys as he thought about that for a moment and then his current reaction. Maybe it was better to have Tohma come speak to him first.

What bothered him the most was the fact that he couldn't fathom why this was happening. He had been kind and attentive. Hell he had even managed the dreaded 'L' word a few times. So what was wrong? Why had Shuichi left him?

It all went back to whatever had been going on before the singer left, but that was still a mystery too. Shuichi had been tight lipped about whatever was bothering him and Eiri was still too nervous to ask. He didn't want to push his little lover too hard. The now white-headed man was pushing enough on his own.

'I feel so helpless. Why wont he talk to me?'

Eiri dropped his head into his hands. His mind was so clouded by emotions that he couldn't see the answer staring him in the face. His heart was hiding behind his fear and for once he was letting it.

That one man could affect him so scared the hell out of him.

XXX

I know that this is a short chapter. Please forgive me. I have been working on a borrowed computer as mine died. Updates might be sporadic and short until I can get a new one. I will be updating as often as I can. Also I am about to start a second job so I will have less time anyway. Life can be such a pain in the ass. Anyway please stick with me. I haven't forgotten you or my stories. Thanks to all of my reviewers. You guys keep me going in these hard times.

The song Ryuichi sang is actually something I wrote awhile back. It was inspired by Ryuichi himself and in titled, appropriately enough, _Ryuichi's Theme._

So, too much? Not enough? There is more to come. (Sooner rather than later, I hope.)


	5. Chapter 4

**Twisting Fate**

After a long busy couple of weeks I have finally found the time to get busy on this again. I now have a new - um well, newer computer that works. I actually started this chapter a couple of times, but it didn't feel right.

I still don't own them, but it's so depressing to admit it. I - want - my - RYUICHI!

**Chapter Four**

Shuichi looked at the phone in his hand forlornly. He felt a little twinge in his chest every time he looked at it. This was the latest of the thirty seven calls he had received from Eiri in the last week, all of which he had ignored. With a sigh he dropped the phone into his pocket before leaning against the rail and looking out from his balcony.

He didn't know how long he had been standing there when he was startled from his thoughts by a pair of warm arms wrapping him in a loose backwards hug. He smiled slightly as Ryuichi settled his head on Shuichi's shoulder. "Hey."

"Hey." The brunette had been there all day 'helping' Shuichi decorate his apartment. It had been a lot of fun, but they really hadn't gotten much work done.

After a few moments silence Ryuichi spoke up, "You know my friend, courage is not the lack of fear, but rather moving forward in the face of fear."

Shuichi wondered at the seemingly random comment. "Okay."

Ryuichi giggled quietly, but sobered quickly. "Shuichi, love can be a scary thing. You have a choice now that you will never have again."

Shuichi pulled away from his friend and one time idol. "I don't know what to do. Everything that has happened has been so screwed up. I mean with the accident and Eiri's absolute turn around in personality. It's all just so…" He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "I can't stand his coddling! I can take it from everyone but him. That is not the man I fell in love with. Sure it's nice that he is kinder to me, but he doesn't… he isn't… I mean… oh, I don't know." He slumped into one of the little wicker chairs that he had put out on the balcony.

Shuichi looked up after a few moments and saw that Ryuichi had that disturbingly intense look in his eyes. It was the one he got when he was being serious. The elder singer reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Did you know I was in love once?"

Shuichi shook his head dumbly.

"It was a long time ago. It was before I came back to Nittle Grasper." Ryuichi pulled a small photo from his pocket. It was worn from having been handled too much and being kept in his wallet for so long, but still the image was crisp and clear. He held the photo in lovingly in his hand for a few seconds before passing it to Shuichi.

"The woman there beside me is Katharine. I called her 'Neko', because all her friends called her 'Kat', which translates to the same thing. She thought it was cute."

Shuichi looked at the image in awe. The Ryuichi in the picture was as happy as he had ever seen the man. The woman next to him was stunning. They looked like they were at some kind of costume party. She was dressed up as cat, of course, with painted on whiskers and fluffy black ears while Ryuichi looked incredibly like a mouse in a full body suit of gray fuzz. She kept hold of his tail and it looked like she was using it as a leash. They were both smiling brightly with eyes full of laughter.

Shuichi looked up from the gripping image and handed the photo back to Ryuichi only to be handed another in turn. This picture was not so worn as the first. Only the corners were starting to take some wear. In the picture was Ryuichi standing next to a child that could pass as a much smaller body double. "Wha…"

"That is David Ryu White. He's my son. His mother's family name of course. He will be nine next month. That was taken when I went to see him last year." Ryuichi took the photo back and stared at it longingly. He leaned back against the rail and sighed. "The song you asked about the other day, I wrote it for him. He was born shortly before I came home from the states. His mother and I were never married. We had a horrible fight. She refused to come with me to Japan. She wanted to stay in America close to her family."

He ran his hand through his hair several times in frustration. "I got mad. It was important to me to come back here. I missed my friends and family, but she wouldn't even consider it. She refused to change."

He paused for a moment and looked out over the city to the sea in the distance. "You know people didn't used to think I was crazy. I used to be a lot like how you used to be. I was happy and enthusiastic about life. As my fame grew my personality became part of my image. I was _supposed _to be happy-go-lucky to the point of insanity while still taking my singing seriously. I let it become who I was. I let myself be weak. I let my fear of ridicule and change overwhelm me."

He looked back at Shuichi with those same intense eyes. "That is what really ended it between Neko and I. The whole time I knew her, I played the same part that I have played since Nittle Grasper started out. I played the fool with the big talent. She had gotten used to me giving in to her to keep her happy. When I stood up for myself about coming home… well here I am and there she is." He gestured into the distance in the vague direction of the California cost line hundreds of miles away.

"I see David once or twice a year," he continued. "I miss him constantly and his mother. She will always be a part of my past that I regret. If I had stood up for myself in the beginning then perhaps none of this would have happened. I was too afraid that she would turn away from me."

Suddenly Shuichi understood, or at least thought he did, what Ryuichi was saying. "So you think…"

Ryuichi waved his hand to forestall his junior. "What I think doesn't really matter. I just hope that you learn from my mistakes. Don't hide who you are and how you feel. Stand up for yourself and what you want. Be willing to compromise, but not if it betrays who you are."

Shuichi stood up slowly and walked to Ryuichi before wrapping him in a tight hug. "You should learn to take your own advice." He loosened his grip but did not let go.

"Who me? I'm just a crazy famous person." Shuichi hit his arm lightly.

"You are hyperactive and silly sometimes, but you're not crazy."

"No more so than anyone else. I never have been. I hope I never will be."

They each held the other for a long time trying to give comfort. One was comforted for the pain of had been lost the other for the fear of what might be lost.

XXX

When Ryuichi was and the apartment was quiet Shuichi sat quietly in front of his fire. It was one of his favorite things about the whole penthouse.

The book in his lap glared up at him accusingly. He had yet to read anything beyond the cover. It was Eiri's newest novel. This was the book that he had started just before Shuichi had woken from the coma. It had only been out for a few weeks.

_Innocence Lost_

The name itself was daunting. This was the part he was still keeping to himself. This was the part that only Tohma even knew the barest hints of. He knew in his heart that when he opened those pages he would already know the story. He would already know the pain that Erie's words expressed. He would already know exactly how the book reflected his and Eiri's life together.

The cell phone that had been sitting on the table started to ring. The tune that played was an older Nittle Grasper song and it brought with it a reminder of Ryuichi's words. That song only played when Eiri called.

Shuichi reached out with an apprehensive hand and picked up the phone. Instead of ignoring it like he had been he answered the call. "Eiri," it was the barest of whispers, but he knew that he had been heard.

"Shuichi," the tone was stiff. "Tell me one thing: why?"

Shuichi's hand trembled as he tried to keep his phone to his ear. "That is a hard question to answer, Eiri. It will take some time."

"I have lots of free time right now and all the time in the world for you if you will just answer me," the tone was sad and hurt.

"Not over the phone. Can you meet me somewhere?"

"Now?"

Shuichi looked down at himself. He was still in the same outfit he had been working in and looked a mess. "In an hour at the park," he didn't feel the need to clarify just which park he was referring to or even where in the park. Eiri would know where to be.

"I'll be there." There was a pause, perhaps the length of a breath and then, "I love you Shuichi. I love you so much."

"I know. I love you too."

XXX

Okay, I want no complaints as to the length of this chapter or how long it took me to get it up. This thing was an emotional rollercoaster for me. Perhaps it feels a little too much like a couple of discussions that I had in real life. Who knows?

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. I am working like a mad fiend and all that rot so it might take some time to get something up again. I hope not, I feel like I am on a roll with this story and I want to put down more, I just won't have a lot of time for awhile. With any luck I will be able to put _something _down for the next chapter later today and maybe enough to post in a week or so. No promises though. I have to sleep sometime guys.

Thanks for sticking with me.

So, too much? Not enough? There is more to come.


	6. Chapter 5

**Twisting Fate**

Oh no!!! It's revenge of the plot bunnies. My muse was working overtime this chapter because he felt I was neglecting this story too much in favor of _Golden Silence_. What does Bob have in store for our lovers now? Dun, dun, dun…

**Chapter Five**

The night air was cool on his shoulders as he looked out over the city. He kept thinking about the conversation he had over the phone with Eiri.

"_I love you, Shuichi. I love you so much."_

"_I know. I love you too."_

The more he thought about it the more it seemed like a conditioned response. If someone told you that they loved you then you're supposed to say, 'I love you too.' That is all there was too it.

Not that he didn't love Eiri, he did. It was just that it felt so... shallow. The love he remembered having for the man had been so deep that it had caused him physical pain at times. He had felt such passion that he would shiver with the mere thought of the man's hands on his body.

Now it was different. The love he felt now was soft, kind of a sweet longing. There was no passion or intensity to it. It felt amazingly like when he had first been ejected from Eiri's life.

"_I don't date men."_

"_Were you confused by that one little kiss?"_

"_It was just one night."_

Each time he had felt something like what he felt now, but he could not explain it. He had no reason to be feeling like this. He was the one who had walked away this time. 'Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel like someone slapped me for no reason and walked away?'

He took a long drag from his cigarette and released the smoke along with a heavy sigh. 'Then there is this thing with the 'dream'. I'm missing something here. There has to be a reason that I remember these things that are somehow real.'

He had been thinking on this a lot as of late and the more he thought the more he realized that he couldn't remember the details of his everyday life during the 'dream'. Small things escaped him. He didn't remember where he lived other than it was an apartment. He didn't know what kind of car he had driven just that it was black. Hundreds of other things that he logically should have known escaped him. The only things that remained solid in his mind were things like his songs, his band, and those last days before he woke up. Everything that had happened since his 'return' to Japan was crystal clear.

"Smoking while deep in thought. That's not a pastime I ever thought I would witness from you."

Shuichi didn't bother to turn around. He knew that voice almost as well as he knew his own. "Things change, Eiri. Life goes on... blah, blah, blah." He took another drag from the cigarette and held it in his lungs. He relished the feel of it for long seconds before exhaling again.

"I thought I was supposed to be the cynical one. It doesn't suit you." Eiri leaned on the railing next to Shuichi and the younger held out the open pack of cigarettes to the blond.

"Go ahead, they're your brand." He scoffed quietly, "Like I would end up smoking anything else."

Shuichi felt Eiri take one and looked out of the corner of his eye at the man. The author seemed rather calm for the situation. They stood smoking in silence for some unknown number of minutes before Eiri broke the peace.

"I thought you were going to explain this to me."

Shuichi snorted derisively. "Forgive me for savoring the moment. You're so demanding. 'Why, why, why?'"

Eiri sucked in a sharp breath. To hear his own words spat back at him in such a way was disturbing. What had he done to this man? He truly didn't understand. "Shuichi…"

Something had clicked in Shuichi's head when the words escaped his mouth. He felt a cold rush of power in his veins then like a thick blanket was wrapping him up as a single word passed his lips, "Neo."

Eiri gaped at the lightless purple eyes staring back at him. "What?"

Shuichi was suddenly a spectator in his own life. "My name in Neo. Shuichi doesn't need you anymore. You let him wilt of neglect six years ago and I saved him." What was he saying? Those were not the words he had meant to come from his mouth.

Eiri's face went pale. "What the hell?"

Neo laughed. "What's wrong lover boy? Miss the brat warming your bed?"

'Neo?' Oh, God, he really had gone insane.

'Shut up brat, this is for your own good.'

'No! What are you doing? I love Eiri. It's awkward right now, but I still love him.'

Crewel laughter echoed in his head. 'Don't you get it? I have been trying to make you hear me since we woke up. You're finally free of him, his lies, and his cheating. We don't need him. Now, go to sleep and let me handle this.'

The muffled feeling overtook Shuichi's mind and all he knew was darkness.

The war raging in Shuichi's eyes captivated Eiri. Light flickered in and out of them until they settled on dull and then focused back on him. "What no answer?"

Eiri shook himself. "It's not about that. It hasn't ever been about the sex, not really. I lied to myself for a long time. I was afraid of being hurt. I love you Shuichi!"

Neo's expression grew harsh. "I told you, my name is Neo. Get it right, Fuck-wit, because I wont tell you again." He dropped the cold cigarette butt to the ground and smashed it pointedly with his toe. "It hurts to be rejected, doesn't it? Stay away from us. For some unknown reason the idiot cares about you, but you wont fare so well if I see you again."

He brushed passed a nonplused Eiri and disappeared into the darkness before the author could regain his wits.

XXX

"Fucking hell, Hiro! Would you get this right already? This is the last fucking song and we have been doing it for three days! Just because I let all the rest of the songs pass out of here as crap doesn't mean that this one will. Now get it right!"

For the past three days the band and staff had been walking on eggshells around Shuichi. _"My name is Neo!"_ They had no idea what had happened to the man and he got mad, telling them to butt out, when they asked.

"Again!"

_"I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's only me and I walk alone…"_

Ryuichi stood inside the mixing booth and frowned. No matter what he may look like, no matter that the voice was the same, the man singing was no Shuichi. This was not his friend. Something had happened to him and Ryuichi was going to find out what.

XXX

The days stretched on like rubber bands. They seemed to have endless elasticity as you pulled them taunt trying to make it to the end of the day, but when the day was done you looped it in with all the others. When linked and returned to their original size they formed a chain so short that you had to wonder where the time had gone.

Looking back it seemed to Eiri that it had been both only seconds and an eternity since Shuichi had come into his life. It had been two years together, six years of coma, and another seven months of… questions.

He read again the word he had written. They had been burning his soul since his last encounter with Shuichi.

_'Love's Requiem_

_I had a love once. I consumed me in a way that I had never dreamt of. It was a passionate seduction of the child I was. I was innocent and young with a lust for the world and a hope for bigger things. The man I loved took me in his stride and then all my hope was shattered. I was scorned of his love and told how I had been made into a fool. He used me and stole my dreams away._

_He left me without my innocence of flesh and my heart raped of its purity, burned black by his memory. I ripped the useless flesh from myself that day and cast it into a grave to await the day its embittered owner would join it in rest. _

_I found solace only in my solitude. My family was estranged and my friends forgotten. I buried myself in work and a world built of impossible fantasies. I cried tearlessly into the night with longing for arms that would never hold me and mourned my lost ability to love. _

_I was a cold and empty shell. I did not look at others fearing that they would see the soulnessness of my eyes. I knew no comfort in the flesh of the countless strangers. I vanished into the silence that was now my only friend. There was no light and there was no comfort. I wrote long laments for my shattered dreams and then watched them shrivel into ash as I commended them to the heavens. I did not question, I did not seek, I did not long._

_Looking back I wonder what happed in my mind when I chose to forget all that was good in this world. I was selfish in my anger and I let what should have made me stronger kill all that was good in me. I could only see it when he reclaimed my heart for me. Only then could I feel that which I neglected to myself for so long. _

_Now he too is gone. _

_Once again I weep for that love that I have lost, but now I know that it was I who stole it from myself. I destroyed it with my own two hands: Shuichi.'_

"Moping again, Aniki?"

Eiri's head hit the desk with a thump. "Fate is a crewel bitch," he grumbled to himself, but Tatsuha heard him.

"That she is, Aniki." After a moment Eiri heard him humph. "'I destroyed it with my own two hands'? Man you're worse than a gothic teenager."

The voice was right behind him and Eiri sat up quickly and downsized the window on his laptop. "It's none of your concern, Tatsuha."

He glared as his younger brother flopped down in the spare chair. "I still can't believe you are just going to let him walk away like that."

Eiri sighed. "You didn't see his face, Tatsuha. He was… a different person."

Tatsuha leaned forward in his chair. "And your point is what exactly? I thought you loved him."

"I do."

"You're a fucking coward." He stood up and crossed the room. He leaned down and got right in Eiri's face. "I know I was only ten, but I remember what you were like before New York. The two years you were with Shuichi was the most alive I have seen you since before all that happened. He made you happy. If you're going to give up that easy then you don't deserve him. Get a backbone, Aniki. Go after him before you turn into one of your characters."

Eiri stared at his baby brother. When had he grown up? It suddenly occurred to the author that Tatsuha was twenty-four now and no longer sixteen.

_When linked and returned to their original size they formed a chain so short that you had to wonder where the time had gone._

XXX

… dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnnn.

The song in this chapter was Green Day, _Boulevard of Broken Dreams._ Other than that… No comment.

So? Too much? Not enough? There is still more to come. (It never ends!)


	7. Chapter 6

**Twisting Fate**

I feel kind of bad about putting off my stories while I try to correct and improve them. It is surprisingly easy to forget just how many people are reading this. So it is only fair that I continue working on new chapters. Keep in mind that anything I write now may change in the future because of the revisions that I am making.

To sort out some of the questions that people have been asking here is a short timeline. The dates are made up, as I don't feel like looking them up from the manga or anime release/air dates. (Remember that I screwed with the cannon whenever I wanted to in order to write this story, so please don't yell at me because this is not the way it happened in the manga/anime.)

May 1999: Shuichi and Eiri meet in the park.

January 2001: Eiri runs away to New York.

June-ish 2001: Shuichi's accident.

April-ish 2006: Shuichi's stroke.

May-ish 2006: Shuichi wakes up.

July-ish 2006: Shuichi gets to go home.

December-ish 2006: Shuichi moves out.

January-ish 2007: Chapter Six of TF

These dates are subject to change as I am still working on editing this part of the story.

I hope this helps a little.

I still don't own them.

**Chapter Six**

Neo didn't realize how late it was getting and he really didn't care until Suguru messed up in the same place for the umpteenth time. He ran his hand through his now incredibly short hair and grumbled. "Fuck it, go home. We'll try again tomorrow."

No one questioned him lest he change his mind. Hiro, Suguru, and the mixing staff packed up and were out of the studio in record time.

Neo himself didn't move to pack up instead he stayed behind his keyboard and kept working. He knew he wouldn't sleep even if he went home. In dreams he was haunted by the voice of his weaker, whinier other half. It didn't bother him that he was living in someone else's head it just annoyed him when that someone else wouldn't shut up.

It had been four weeks since he had managed to put the brat to sleep and he was still having trouble convincing Shuichi that it was for his own good that he let Neo take over. After all, the alternate ego had been growing in his subconscious since long before the 'accident'.

His hands danced over the keys and his eyes closed. He tried to imagine the guitar backing him up, but the synthetic drums just weren't doing it for him. He wanted a drummer. He wanted a lot of things actually, another guitarist and a bassist among them. The music would be richer if they weren't so dependent upon a synthesizer for most of the score.

"_Heaven ablaze in our eyes  
We're standing still in time  
The blood on our hands is the wine  
We offer as sacrifice…"_

He growled low in his throat and hit the 'off' button on his keyboard. He hadn't shared this song with the band yet, it wasn't ready and he didn't want to compromise on it. He didn't want to compromise on any of his songs, but what could he do?

"Why did you stop?" The accent was heavy. Neo looked up and was both surprised and not to see the man standing in the doorway.

"Rick." The name rolled of his tongue with a familiarity that should not have been there, but even 'Neo' couldn't wholly distinguish between what was reality and what was manufactured in his fractured mind.

"Shuichi-san, was it?"

"Neo." The response was automatic. "Call me Neo."

Rick nodded and walked further into the room. He nodded subtly to the keyboard and Neo waved him to it, stepping out of the way. "It's too slow."

Neo eyed him for a moment before leaning back against the wall. "Show me."

Rick took a few moments to play with the keyboard and change a few settings. Then without any warning he was able to mimic what Neo had been playing with almost no effort.

Neo nodded along with it for a moment then stepped up next to Rick. The American stepped out of the way and Neo started the computer recording before incorporating what Rick had done into the song. When the intro had finished he didn't hesitate to start singing again.

After completing the first chorus he stopped with a contemplative look on his face. "Now if I just had a band built for the song," he mused to himself.

"Never had that problem with SDS."

Neo didn't look up at him or even think before he said it. "No we didn't."

When he did look up Rick had a curious expression on his face. "We?"

Neo bit his lip. "It is a long story."

"I have time and my Japanese is getting better. Want to talk about it?"

Neo glanced at the clock for the first time since Bad Luck's dinner break. It was just after two in the morning. He rubbed his tired eyes. "Why are you here so late anyway?"

Rick took a moment to answer. Whether he was translating in his head or just deciding what to say didn't really matter. Neo didn't care one way or another. Part of him was more than just a little excited to have this part of his 'dream' be real. That particular part of him was making itself known in the suddenly too tight confines of his pants. Sex was sex and it had been too long.

"There is something about you. I saw it that first day in Seguchi's office. I have wanted to talk to you for weeks now, so when I heard that Bad Luck was working late I waited."

Neo felt a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. "Is that so?" He turned to the computer and saved then locked the file with the recording before shutting everything down. "Well since you went to such lengths to talk to me then it is only fair that I take you to dinner. It's not too late is it?" He turned back and smiled coyly at Rick.

"Not at all."

XXX

Dinner had been mostly idle chat, the subject of the dream carefully avoided. Neo was not particularly concerned with any of the topics and focused more on the way that Rick licked the ends of his chopsticks after every bite. The dream Rick had been wonderful in bed and Neo couldn't help but want to try it out in the real world.

There was the faintest protest to this thought from the recesses of his mind where Shuichi's consciousness slept most of the time. Apparently the idea of being 'unfaithful' to Eiri had been enough to wake the brat up. However Neo paid the voice no mind and continued to talk his way into what he hoped would be a very satisfying night.

XXX

Eiri gritted his teeth. When he took a break from his writing in order to get something to eat he had remembered that he had forgotten to go shopping. This was why he was standing in front of one of his and Shuichi's favorite little all night eateries. He couldn't bring himself to go in though. The sight of his lover blatantly flirting with another man was too much for him.

'So that's what it comes to then? I just couldn't compete with the constant temptations.' Eiri felt a biter rage swell in the back of his throat until he might choke on it. So consumed was he in his thoughts that he didn't notice the pair get up until the door next to him opened. When he looked over he wished he hadn't.

The foreigner, because that all he could be with what he was doing, was breaking one of Japan's taboos. As soon as they had cleared the door the bigger man had pushed Eiri's Shuichi against the wall and started kissing him… in public… and Shuichi didn't seem to care in the least.

Unbidden a cry of disgust left Eiri's lips. The couple looked up. Shuichi's lips almost instantly turned into a cold smirk while his companion looked at Eiri with a benign expression of disinterest.

Neo pushed Rick away gently and turned to Eiri. "Well, well, if it isn't the old flame." He took a few slow sultry steps toward Eiri until he was close enough to lean in and whisper in the others ear. "It hurts to see what you can't have, isn't it?" He jerked back from Eiri and started laughing.

Eiri didn't think, he didn't breath, his hand simply flew. Shuichi's laughter died on his lips instantly.

Neo covered the reddening handprint on his cheek. He heard Rick's hasty steps come up behind him, but before the man could pass he held out his hand to stop him. Neo's eyes glowed in an almost sinister light. "I would recommend that you didn't do that again."

"What the hell is happening to you Shuichi?"

Neo shook his head and started to turn. "I'm sorry, Shuichi isn't at home at the moment, but if you would like to leave a message I would be happy to tell you where to shove it." He looked back over his shoulder at Eiri, but this time all emotion seemed to have left him. "Things can never go back to how they were. You need to move on. I'm not your play thing anymore."

As Shuichi started to walk away Eiri tried to grab his arm and pull him back. Before he could make contact with the little singer a fist impacted on his jaw. Eiri blinked several time before trying to pick himself up off the pavement. "Stay down," growled a low voice. "He told to it was over, now leave off."

Eiri blinked up at the man and his heavy American accent. "I don't know what is going on yet, but don't get to comfortable. Shuichi is mine."

Rick laughed, seemingly unsurprised by Eiri perfect yet accented English. "Don't count on that."

Rick turned back to Neo who was watching Eiri with a blank expression. After a moment the pair walked off and Eiri continued to sit on the ground until they were out of site.

He picked himself up and turned in the direction of his apartment, his hunger forgotten.

XXX

The song was Him's _Wings of a Butterfly._

Do to an e-mail that I received I am going to give you guys who don't quite get what is happening one little clue: If you think that this sounds like something out of _Fight Club_, you wouldn't be totally wrong.

So? Too much? Not enough? There is more to come.


	8. Chapter 7

**Twisting Fate**

I must say that the response, or rather lack there of, to the last chapter surprised me a little. There have been eight reviews since I put it up a week ago and that is for both websites. Oh well, I guess it was a bit of a bad chapter. Never fear though Shuichi will be back and he and Eiri are scheduled to be back together by the end of this story, which is almost to the halfway point. Things will be picking up a little in this chapter though you wont see much of Neo/Shuichi.

Fair warning to you guys, if you react like I did when I was writing this chapter you may need a tissue.

**Chapter Seven**

Eiri pulled the blanket a little tighter around his shoulders to try and ward off the chill. Anyone with good sense would have long ago gone in from the rain, but something about it calmed him. He could imagine that the water was somehow cleansing his soul. Right then even the continuously ring phone could not pull him inside.

"Why can't they just leave me alone?" He felt small and pitiful. Images of Shuichi kissing the American kept floating around in his mind. He never thought that his little lover could be so cruel.

"_It hurts to see what you can't have, doesn't it?"_

_"Things can never go back to how they were. You need to move on. I'm not your plaything anymore."_

"Maybe he's right. Perhaps this has gone on too long. I know that he is safe now. I just want him to be happy. He _deserves_ to be happy." Eiri sighed and curled his arms around his knees.

So consumed was he by his thoughts that he hadn't heard the front door being opened or the person coming up behind him. "You deserve to be happy too, Eiri."

Eiri rolled his head around slowly. Tohma sighed at his brother-in-law's blank expression.

"What do you want Tohma? I'm not really in the mood for company." He turned back in his chair and rested his chin on his knees.

"Will you please come inside before you catch your death out here?"

"Go away."

Tohma shook his head as he walked back into the apartment. Eiri would have hoped that he would just leave, that is if he didn't know better. Sure enough a few moments later Tohma returned with a towel and umbrella in hand. He draped the towel over Eiri's shoulders and held the umbrella over both of their heads.

"Will you please come inside? What were you doing out here?"

"You're never going to listen to me, are you?"

Tohma gave an ironic chuckle. "Not when I believe it is in your best interest to do otherwise."

Eiri sat in silence for several long moments. He didn't know how to respond to Tohma's question. He wasn't really sure about anything anymore. The last six years, no make that eight years, had left him off balance. Shuichi had changed everything when he had charged into Eiri's life. When Eiri had tried to run away Shuichi had followed, never one to give up. He had thought that upon his return from New York that perhaps he could finally start to make some sense of things, but then Shuichi got into the accident and everything was flipped back upside down again. Since he had started to recover he had been like a totally different person and it left Eiri not knowing which way to turn.

"I was just enjoying the rain."

Tohma shook his head again and hooked a hand under Eiri's arm. "Come on and don't argue with me."

Knowing that it would do no good to refuse at this point, Eiri got up and followed the other blond inside. "Go get a shower and warm up. I'll cook you something."

Eiri snorted. "Good luck, I haven't been shopping."

Tohma just smirked at him. "Oh, but _I_ have."

-

Eiri had to admit that the hot shower and warm meal had left him feeling a little less disoriented. He was sitting on his couch drinking a cup of hot tea and trying to ignore Tohma's unfaltering stare. After so many years in the man's company he was good at ignoring his older sister's husband.

Eiri wasn't stupid after all and though Tohma drove him crazy with his constant butting in to Eiri's life the author knew it was because Tohma cared so much about him. Eiri would never admit that what the older man felt was love, but he knew it all the same.

He didn't know how long they sat there in the silence, Eiri watching the rain and Tohma watching Eiri, but the staring was beginning to grate on his nerves. Eiri was just almost ready to tell Tohma to get the hell out when he spoke. "You know it's not your fault, don't you?"

Eiri just looked at him for several moments. He wasn't sure what to say. He was almost certain what Tohma meant, but then again this was Tohma and the man could have mean a thousand different things with the statement.

"Eiri…" It was strange to see Tohma groping for words. "What is wrong with Shuichi is not your fault. I should have done something earlier, I should have said something at least."

Eiri's eyes narrowed. "What did you do now?"

Tohma shook his head sadly. "Nothing and that is the point." Tohma rubbed his face and took a deep breath. He knew that this would not be an easy conversation, but he didn't think it would be quite this hard either. "The night that Shuichi-kun left he came to me. He told me that he wanted to move out for a while to get his head straight. I was, of course, concerned and asked him if something had happened. What he told me was nothing short of… incredible."

Tohma leaned back in his chair. He wasn't sure just how much of what Shuichi had said to tell to the younger man. Eiri was unpredictable in the best of times and he was uncertain as to how he would react. After a moment he decided to keep it a vague as possible. "He told me that while in the coma he dreamed. The dream he had was some kind of manufactured alternate reality in which the events that occurred leading up to his accident were a little different. Because he did things just a little differently he was never in the accident and lived a very different life during the six years he was in the coma."

Tohma took a moment to pause and try and gauge Eiri's reaction thus far. The thirty year old had been watching his hands since Tohma had started his explanation and had not moved since. "I agreed to help him, obviously. You know I care a lot about the both of you and because what he told me was so unusual I did a little research and a little asking. I have been watching him very closely."

Tohma stood and crossed to Eiri. He knelt in front of his brother-in-law and took hold of his hands. "Eiri, look at me." Troubled golden eyes slowly rose to meet gray. "I described what has been happening to a friend of mine. Now keep in mind that he is an expert in his field. He said that it is hard to tell without meeting Shuichi in person, but it sounded as if Shuichi-kun was suffering from what he called a 'severe disassociation or psychotic break'."

Eiri's eyes narrowed in thought. He was racking his brain trying to remember where he had heard that before.

"Eiri, look at me." Eiri's head snapped back up. "This is something that could have been building for awhile and we didn't see it. It means that Shuichi may be suffering from a mental illness called Schizophrenia."

"Schizophrenia?" Eiri's eyes had taken on a hollow look. Tohma was becoming more and more worried. He would have been more comfortable if Eiri had lashed out and become angry. This quite and introverted Eiri was setting off alarm bells in Tohma's head.

"Yes. He says that there are numerous signs that point to the possibility. The dramatic change in personality, the severe and sometimes violent mood swings, and the so-called dream are all documented symptoms."

Eiri pulled his hands away slowly and curled in on himself until he was sitting much the same way that Tohma had found him a few hours before. He began chewing on his lip as Tohma moved to sit next to him on the couch, but didn't attempt to touch Eiri again as his body language for the moment screamed for him not to.

"How… I mean what… why?"

Tohma took a deep breath. He had known for a week that he needed to have this conversation with Eiri, but he had put it off for as long as he could. When the author had called him that morning to ask about 'this American guy' who he had seen with Shuichi he had known he couldn't put it off any longer. The last six years had been hard on Eiri and now that all this was happening… for a brief moment Tohma allowed himself to think that perhaps it might have been better if the little singer _had_ died.

"They don't know what causes it. It has been attributed to everything from genetic disorders to childhood trauma. After I told him some of the things that had occurred over the course of my association with Shuichi he told me that it may have started at the time of his rape and come to light after the trauma of the accident, but that is just one possibility of many. Again, he said it was hard to know, especially never having talked to Shuichi himself."

They sat in silence for long uncounted moments. Eiri chewed his lip until it was raw and a small trickle of blood slid slowly down his chin. Tohma felt his heart trying to break as he saw the pain in those golden eyes. He pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and gently wiped the blood from the younger man's face.

Eiri looked up at him and for a moment Tohma saw the lost little boy of so many years ago. A moment later he knew that that was just how Eiri was feeling.

"At the risk of sounding like a weak little kid, could you do me a favor?"

"Anything you need."

Eiri uncurled, scooted across the couch, and leaned his head against Tohma's chest. "Hold me for awhile."

Tohma didn't have to verbalize his answer. He wrapped his arms around Eiri and pulled him closer. A few moments later Eiri turned his face into Tohma's chest and the older man could feel a small patch of damp soak through his shirt.

God but there were days when Tohma hated that everyone looked to him to be the strong one. He leaned his cheek against the top of Eiri's head and suppressed his own bubbling emotions. Not only did he fear for one friend's sanity, but he also hated the pain he knew this was causing to the person he loved more than any other in this. Still he knew that when he got home later Mika would hold him and he would have his turn at release.

-

-The speech in this section is in English.-

A few miles away from where Tohma was comforting Eiri a very different confrontation was about to take place. Bad Luck was winding down for the night and Rick was waiting outside the studio ready to pick up where he and Neo had left off the night before.

Several meters down the hall he was being observed. Ryuichi was not the least bit happy about what Tohma had told him earlier that day. Tohma and Ryuichi had been each other's confessors for years and while the blond was used to Ryuichi's quarks he was also aware of the singer's true nature. So it had been with perfect knowledge of how Ryuichi really felt about Shuichi and how he was likely to react that he confided in the brunette about the phone call he had received from Eiri and the possibility that Shuichi might seriously be mentally ill.

Neither of the men had any doubt about who the American that Eiri had seen was. Ryuichi was not about to let some horny American take advantage of his friend. He had been watching the man for several moments and soon enough he couldn't hold himself back.

He paced down the hall and before the other man had time to react, pinned Rick to the wall with no explanation.

The pressure against Rick's neck was painful. He tried to yell, tried to pull away, but all the effort he made was useless.

"I don't care how special you think you are. I don't care how hot you think Shuichi is. I don't care how much money you could make this company. You are going to pretend that you never heard the name Shindou Shuichi." Ryuichi let up just enough pressure that Rick could speak.

Rick sucked in a deep breath. "Who the fuck are you?"

"I am someone you shouldn't mess with so it would behoove you to do as I say and stay away from Shuichi-kun. Regardless of how he acts, he is very venerable right now and I wont have some opportunistic little shit messing with him." Ryuichi voice was a low growl and he could feel the tremors running through Rick's body.

Regardless of the fear he felt Rick pride wouldn't let him back down. "So who are you, his keeper?"

Ryuichi pressed a little harder against the younger man's neck and Rick choked for a moment before sucking in a harsh breath. "No. It is much worse than that Rick-san." Ryuichi chuckled darkly. "I love Shuichi a great deal. Had circumstances been different then I would have gladly claimed him as my own. However circumstances are not different so we will just settle on calling me an overprotective friend. An overprotective friend with very powerful connections."

Rick didn't know how this man knew his name and wasn't really sure what to think. He was scared out of his mind. "What, do you plan to try and stop NG from signing Seven Sins?"

Ryuichi chuckled almost sinisterly again. "I want you to stay away from Shuichi. If you do anything to stand in the way of his happiness with Eiri-kun then you wont have to worry about the label and you wont live long enough to regret it." He finished the statement in a dangerously sweet voice. He pushed off from Rick in such a way that the other man gagged again before walking off.

Rick watched his retreating back and wondered. Could this man really have someone killed? Did Neo mean that much to him?

One thing Rick did know was that he didn't have enough courage to tempt fate.

-

Oh I love Ryuichi. Anyway I don't want any complaints about the OOC-ness of characters in this chapter. I think the reasons behind them behaving that way are apparent.

Thanks for reading. Please guys let me know what you think.

Too much? Not enough? There is more to come.


	9. Chapter 8

Twisting Fate Twisting Fate

**A/N: **This is the new, hopefully improved, version of this chapter. I know it took me forever to get this out, but life (like always) is hell. Some of you may be happy to know that I have actually written out a full synopsis for the rest of the series, not just this story. I now know exactly what I am going to have happen. Fate is not done playing with our beloved couple, but I have her number now. Unfortunately, updates will probably continue to be irregular. It is not that I don't want to write, but rather finding the time and patients. It bugs me sometimes, but I have a very eclectic personality and need to go off and do other things from time to time.

Since I am still having people complain about my spelling, I will say this plainly. I am 25 as of this post (DOB: Dec 6, 1982). I like to think that I am a good writer. I know that I can spin a good tale. What I have trouble with is spelling and word usage. This is because I have a learning disability. If Microsoft Word does not see the error, then it is likely that I wont either. I don't have the luxury of having an editor. I have trouble keeping betas because my updates are sometimes (read 'usually') few and far between. So I am making this proposal: Even if you are not a writer, but are good with grammar, usage, and spelling and don't mind waiting for infrequent updates, then I will take on a beta once more. I am going to post the chapter anyway, so updates will not be delayed any more than necessary. I will then upload the beta-ed chapter when it is done. Otherwise, please don't complain, trust me I know my spelling (more often word usage) is atrocious.

I still don't own Gravitation.

**Chapter Eight **

Tohma was gone.

Eiri sat on the couch, curled in upon himself, wondering just why fate hated him so badly. He must have been an even bigger jerk in a past life.

He was not accustomed to so much doubt and fear. He hadn't been for years. He had driven it from his mind long ago along with love, regret, and compassion. Or so he had thought.

It was mere chance, a meeting with a certain pink-headed idiot, which changed all of that. The ever-forceful singer had, over time, whittled away his defenses and exposed his heart. Contrary to Eiri's belief, the organ, when exposed, was not shriveled and useless. It beat within his chest with an ever-growing strength thanks to Shuichi. He did not blame Shuichi for re-exposing his heart. He thanked the brat, mostly.

But it seemed inevitable, that with love came pain.

Eiri was no fool. Once the panic and initial shock had worn off he understood what Tohma had been telling him. He knew more about schizophrenia than he wanted to. It was a broad term that encompassed many mental illnesses. In fact, Eiri was willing to say he probably knew a fair bit more about the disorder than Tohma did. It was one of the first terms he had been labeled with by one of his therapists.

Eiri bit his thumb as he thought, an unlit cigarette hanging loosely between his fingers. He was rather rumpled from lack of sleep, but he neither noticed or cared. He had spent the night sitting there in much the same fashion. The rain had run it course in the night and the rising sun was causing the horizon to blush outside his window.

It was these pink rays that caused Eiri to blink and look from the tear-speckled glasses, thrown haphazardly on the coffee table. All at once it seemed to strike him like a slap to the face. The answer was staring at him. The dawning day seemed to bear new hope with it.

Over the years, every therapist he had ever seen had eventually written him off as a lost cause. They said he was too caught up in denial and self-loathing to ever make progress. It wasn't until a pink-headed force of nature entered his life that he was pulled out of his downward spiral.

Eiri stood with a look of hope. He mentally thumbed his nose at fate. He had a plan. He was going to get _his_ baka back and damned if he was going to let anyone stop him.

He crossed to the phone, but hesitated. It was almost an automatic reaction to call Tohma. Whatever he did, he would need Shuichi's address. Still, Tohma had been with him until the wee hours of the morning. It would be decidedly unfair to call the man and wake him from his much needed sleep at so early an hour.

There was also the fact that he didn't really know what he was going to do. He had a plan, but it was only just barely that. He didn't know what he would do when he confronted his lover. He didn't know what he would do if, god forbid, Shuichi was not alone. He had no contingency plan.

He fidgeted for several moments. "Screw it," he growled. He snatched up the phone before he could talk himself out of it. Tohma answered almost immediately. Eiri was surprised that the man not only sounded awake, but that he was obviously in his car.

"I need Shuichi's address." The statement was blunt, to the point, and totally neglecting of Tohma's obviously concerned tone of voice.

Tohma hesitated before answering. "What are you going to do?"

"Save him, from himself."

"Eiri, I don't think that…"

"Just give me the damn address!" Eiri forced himself to calm down during Tohma's pause. He knew he was getting agitated. He was exhausted, he was excited, and he was afraid he would change his mind. "I'm sorry. I know what I need to do. Please, just tell me where he live."

He heard Tohma sigh on the other end of the line. "Alright."

Eiri copied the address onto the back of his hand. "Thanks."

"Just please don't do anything stupid."

Eiri was nonplused. Tohma had never said anything like that to him before. "I…" he didn't know what to say.

"I have a lead, Eiri. It is going to be hard, because there are no legal angles we can take right now. Still, knowing you, you're about to do what I was planning."

"Oh?"

"Just… don't do anything _stupid_."

Eiri finally understood what Tohma meant. _Don't do anything I can't cover up and screw up my plan._

"I promise."

XXX

Neo stretched languidly. It was still early yet, but he had gone to bed far earlier that he would have if his date had not stood him up. _'Damn you Rick, I need to get laid.'_

Horniness aside, Neo was in a good mood. Progress was finally being made on the new Bad Luck album. It had taken ages to beat sense into his band mates, but they finally seemed to get it. He wasn't going to let his music be sub-par. Had they not come around to his way of thinking he would just had to replace them. It wasn't like they were indispensable. They all knew that it was he who kept the fans coming back for more.

He finally rolled out of bed and headed into the kitchen for something to eat. He wasn't in the mood to cook so he pulled some leftover onigiri from the fridge.

The coffee was almost done when he heard a knock. He rolled his eyes. If that was Rick with some lame excuse he was going to seriously bitch the man out… and then fuck him anyway.

However when he pulled open the door it was not who he expected. A cold sneer pulled at his lips. "What do you want? Come to try…"

Neo was cut off by a hand at his throat pushing him against the wall. It wasn't a hard pressure, but it startled him enough to shut him up.

The door slammed behind Eiri and his golden eyes seared into the deep blue-violet of his lover's. "Hello again. Neo, Right?" Eiri thrust his weight against the smaller man and he caught the hands that had come up in defense.

"What the hell are you doing here? How do you even know where I live?"

Eiri increased the pressure on Neo's throat just enough to shut him up, but not enough to bruise. "You listen to me, you little bitch and you listen hard. You can't get rid of me. Don't even try it. I once came a hair's breath from killing a man who was only friends with a man who hurt Shuichi."

Neo bucked and Eiri was forced to let go of his throat. Still having hold on the smaller man's arms he twisted them and put Neo face down on the floor. He quickly straddled the now white-haired man's hips to pin him in place. "Nice try. Don't do it again." Eiri twisted the arms in his grip to prove the point. "I don't know what started this and I don't know what you are after, but I do know that I am going to be here ever minute of every day. You can't run away and you can't hide.

"Somewhere in that head is the man I love. Somewhere in that head you are hiding him. Maybe you're trying to protect him, or maybe you're just some sick fuck part of him that longs for anguish and pain. I don't care. I've been where you are right now, maybe not as deep but there nonetheless. It's not a pretty place and I know _my_ _Shuichi _hates it."

Neo bucked under him and turned his face to the side. "What are you after? Huh? Is this some kind of twisted intervention or are you just a sadist?"

Eiri twisted Neo's arms again causing a hiss of pain. "You could call it intervention. Whether he wants me or not when this is over is up to him, but I'm not going to let you hurt Shuichi anymore. He saved me from my demon and I owe it to him to save him from his."

Neo started to laugh… hard. Eiri was slightly startled by it, but not enough to let go. "Dumb-ass you created me! You left him to wither in his pain and he created me to save him. What make you think that you can fix that?"

Eiri leaned down pressing his full weight upon Neo. He put his lips right by the man's ear to whisper, "I know because despite everything you say I can still see Shuichi in your eyes. I can see his pain. I can see the tears."

It was only in that moment that Neo realized. He was crying. No… Shuichi was crying and fighting to get out. Neo struggled to suppress the brat and his emotions, but for a moment the effort was futile. Shuichi, for it was Shuichi, forced his head around enough to look into Eiri's eyes.

"Yuki, help me. Make him stop."

The statement shocked Eiri enough to let go. Neo tried to take advantage of both distracted minds. He forced Shuichi down and tried to twist out of Eiri's grip.

Eiri panicked. He tried to reassert his grip, but fumbled. In a last ditch effort to keep Shuichi from escaping he dropped his full weight onto the much smaller singer. Shuichi's head impacted the floor with an audible thud.

Eiri waited for Shuichi, or rather Neo, to struggle, but the man made no movements. After a moment, Eiri became almost frantic in his effort to get off. There was no blood and he was breathing.

Eiri forced his racing heart to calm. It twigged tightly at the thought of having hurt his lover, but Neo had not gotten away.

Eiri bit his lip. It was becoming a habit. Not knowing what else to do he called Tohma.

"Eiri, that was fast."

"You know how you told me not to do anything stupid? Well, I may have."

"What… Never mind. I'll be there soon. I just finished talking to my friend and he has agreed to treat Shuichi. K is probably going to get there before me. Don't ask questions when he does. Do whatever he tells you to. I plan on taking care of two problems at once."

Tohma hung up the phone before Eiri had the chance to respond. On the floor, Shuichi was stirring. Before the singer could wake, Eiri did the only thing he could. He picked the man up, carried him into the bathroom, dropped him into the tub, and barricaded the door against his escape.

"This just gets better and better," he mumbled to himself as Shuichi, or rather Neo cursed at him and pounded upon the door demanding release.

XXX

Again, it took me longer than I thought it would, but now this chapter is complete. I wanted to write more, but it was really a good spot for a chapter break. I am already working on the next chapter, so with any luck it will be up soon. It could be tonight (though I doubt that as I have to work in the morning), it could be tomorrow, or it could be later in the week. I don't _think _it will take longer then that.

(The relevant part of the original A/N follows)

It may seem stupid of me for not seeing this, but I didn't. I didn't know how to make the scene work. Like I said, my muse slapped me upside the head going, 'Duh, they all but say that Eiri is borderline Multiple Personality in the manga. Now get with it, dumb-ass.'

So, too much? (duh, of course not) Not enough? (never enough) Still more to come. (we can only hope)


End file.
